Moms and non-moms!

Can moms be friends with non-moms?  It's a tough question.  I know a lot of my friends have lost friends  by becoming moms.  Either by their friends just leading different lives or by them deciding themselves that they only want to surround themselves with mommy moms.  Immersing themselves into a world of playgroups and sweatpants.

I think I got lucky because neither of those things happened when Miss P came into the world.

Why?

Because my friends and I are awesome.  Duh.

Ok, not really but I think I did get lucky and have a great group of girlfriends.  And better yet we understand and respect each others life choices.  Plenty of my friends have kids but plenty of my friends are kidless and liable to stay that way.

By choice of course, many men want to impregnate my hot and awesome friends.

I'll use my friend Cait as an example just because we recently hung out (Hi Caitrin!).  Cait is one of those friends that we can go forever without talking but not much changes, luckily for us now because we live many states apart.

Our lives are busy and completely different but as soon as we see each other it's like we never missed a beat.  I love that.  While we both knew I wanted kids and popped one out after a few years of marriage, we also both knew that she hadn't even thought about them. This week I asked her the big question "so do you ever want kids?" Her answer?  Nope!

Now while most girls I know would probably be like oh my god seriously?!  Never?  And if they didn't state those thoughts/questions out loud they would most certainly be thinking them.

I am not most girls.  Not a single thought crossed my mind about it.

I find that most women find it seriously strange when another girl doesn't feel the need or desire to have kids.  I have always thought those women were strange.  Who am I to judge what someone wants to do with their life (or uterus)?  Why exactly does everyone expect women to have babies?  Who knows.  This isn't 1900 ya'll!!  Women aren't just for producing offspring and making your ass dinner anymore!

So after someone tells you that they don't want kids do you assume that they hate kids?  Probably.  But I know better.

Cait is adorable with P.  She talks to her and plays with her and chases her around.   Pretty sure when P was a teeny tiny bucket of fuss, she even held her (without shaking or dropping).

P just wanted to run not take pictures!

So the moral of this post is?  If you want to be a good friend, stop judging and start trying to be a friend.  It doesn't matter if you live different lives.  Plenty of my friends are still out partying it up and kidless.  That doesn't mean that we can't be friends!  Except your differences.  Learn to make them work.  Find stuff to do with your non moms and find stuff to do with your mommy moms.  And most importantly realize that the life you live might not be what everyone else wants and that's not a bad thing.  And it goes both ways!!  If you are the one who doesn't see kids in your future don't judge your friends that have them.  Not all moms turn into boring old hags.  They're still the same friend, maybe just a slightly frazzled, exhausted, version of themselves covered in spit up and poop.