I can't believe that two months ago today I popped out the most beautiful little lady. Time has flown by and somehow I have settled into motherhood so easily. I love it. Here is my birth story, in case you missed it.
It's hard to believe how much she has changed in such a short time. I look at her newborn pictures and it's so hard to believe that she was so little and looked so different!
Today she found her feet! She has been kicking them and staring at them all day. When I was trying to take her 2 month pictures she was so excited moving all over. She kept tipping over wiggling around. It made me laugh! I don't know if she realizes that they are part of her.
Yesterday was great! Baby's first Christmas! We had a really laid back, happy day with our FAMILY. Kari said something the other day that really made sense...I probably won't quote her exactly right because my memory is horrible but she was talking about how we...Dustin, Peyton, and I are our family now and everyone else are just relatives. I agree with that 100%. We have started our own family and the three of us are what is most important to me and what I have to take care of and worry about. Obviously I still love my relatives but I'm a grown up now.
So our day was wonderful. We slept in a bit and then got up and around and went downstairs to see what Santa had brought for P! We bought her about 10 things that we thought she would like and start to use in the coming months. She just sat there happy as could be looking around while I helped her open presents. She was staring at everything taking it all in. The dogs were into everything and she watches them whenever they are around her. She probably wonders what the heck those little critters are!
She actually got two of these dogs. We opened one from her grandparents the other night. We hooked it up to the computer and it says her name and sings songs about all her favorite things. It's so, so cute.
She got her jumper. I guess this wasn't really a Christmas present. Her great grandma had bought one for her for her baby shower but we took it back and then bought it when we got back to IL. She is still a little small for it but she seems to really like it! And thank goodness for footed pajamas because while trying it out she had a massive poop. It came out of her diaper all over her onesie, her pj's, the jumper seat and ran down her leg. It ended up in the foot of her pj's! hahah
So she had a midday bath and changed into her Christmas outfit.
The rest of the day we just spent hanging out. It was nice to be able to relax at home in peace. Every year Christmas stresses me out because we usually are traveling and everyone wants to see us and there is always family drama or crazy parents to deal with. I am so glad to start our own tradition of having Christmas at home with us our family. I love it.
Love my girl!
P has made out like a bandit this year already and we still have one more Christmas celebration to go!
My mom and grandparents are coming to town tomorrow to celebrate with us. I'm very excited. My mom told me one of the gifts P got for Christmas because apparently it's on backorder and I guessed what it was anyway. An American Girl doll. One that is customized to look like you! I was mad when she said she was getting one (jk..sort of). My mom then said that she didn't say that she just ordered one, she had purchased two. She got me one too! I probably shouldn't be so excited to get a doll at age 26 but there is a story behind this. When I was little I would get the American Girl catolog in the mail, as I'm sure every little girl in the world does. I ooooh and ahhhhed over them every time and told my mom for like every birthday and Christmas that is what I wanted. When the ones came out that you could pick out to look like you I about shat my pants. I HAD to have one. I literally asked for this thing for like 5 years straight. Now, the issue my mom had was I DESTROYED my dolls. I thought I was a hair stylist and would cut their hair. I've always been a perfectionist even as a child and if it wasn't straight when I cut it, I kept cutting it. In the end I had raggedy ass Barbies. I had Barbie I pretended had cancer (not funny, I know) because I had cut her hair so short that she was almost bald! So my mom could not see spending $95 on a doll that she thought I would ruin. So, instead of my beautiful doll I wanted she got me the American Girl Bitty Baby....it was bald. I pretended to love it but deep down I was so disappointed. To this day I still tease my mom and tell her she ruined my childhood by not getting me the doll so she decided to get me one. She told me that she thinks I am old enough now to take care of it. I told her the first thing I was going to do was brush it's hair! :)
So yes, I plan on playing dolls with P for a long time!
Everyone has been so sweet and thoughtful to P since she's been born. It makes me so happy to see how many people genuinely care about her. This week we have received so many things for the baby. Chelsea sent P a cute little soft book she can chew on, a onesie she made which I need to take a picture of because it's so funny (it has a little stick family on it the dad playing xbox, the mom dancing, baby p, two dogs and the cat), and a cool little birth announcement that she made which I also need to scan in. She is so thoughtful and sweet and has sent P so much stuff. I tell her time and again thank you and I hope she realizes how special everything is to me and how much we appreciate it. Mushy, mushy. I know. I'm telling you, I'm a big sap these days! I think Chelsea and I should have kept in touch a lot more after we danced together. Thank god for facebook for reuniting us. :)
On Wednesday P got a present from her Aunt Jody's sister, Stacy and her family! It was the cutest little baby Snow White doll. I can't wait till she is big enough and can play with the dolls! She just sits and stares at them right now it's cute!
Today P got yet another package in the mail! This time from Rebecca's mom (and the other Rebecca's mother-in-law). It was a cabbage patch doll that she had found with P's birthday. I had actually looked at Target and whenever I saw them anywhere else to see if any of them had her birthday but never found one! She also sent a blanket she had made for P. I love anything handmade. We will love and cherish those gifts forever!
P got a leapfrog Violet dog for Christmas and it is the cutest thing ever! Well, she actually got two. One from us and one from her grandparents. I hooked it up today and added her name and her 'favorite' things to it and it's SOOO cute. It sings songs with her name and favorite things in it and says her name all the time. I love, love, love it!
On Wednesday night we decided to go to Tyler and Jody's so that we didn't have to get up and around bright and early on Thursday for Christmas with the Kent family. Getting out of the house on time with a baby is nearly impossible. Especially one that hates the car and car seat!
Well we had to wait for Fedex to drop off our new camera. I didn't want to leave a $700 camera sitting on our doorstep. I figured I'd give P a bath early and we could be out the door right after the camera got dropped off. I told Dustin that Fedex always comes early in the afternoon. I should have kept my mouth shut because I watched a fedex truck drive by at about 7pm. Drove right by my house! I actually went outside to see where the heck they were going! I wanted my camera damnit! I called Fedex to make sure it was coming today and they have that amazing automated voice system. Which couldn't understand me. And then when I finally got transferred to an actual person I got hung up. 3 times. 3 times I went through that dumb automated system. 3 times I got hung up on. So I called the international number and finally got through. Oh yes, it was coming that day. They were probably just running an hour or two behind their normal 7ish cut off time. Oh great! We sat around waiting, waiting, waiting...9:15pm Fedex FINALLY showed up with my camera. We got P in her car seat. We got the dogs in the car and we were ready to go!
Have I mentioned how much P 'likes' the car?
So she screamed and she screamed and she screamed and then she started coughing and it freaked me out. I made Dustin pull over so I could take her out and calm her down. I got her semi calm and put her back in the seat and we were off again. She started screaming again then she dozed for about 5 minutes. Then she screamed. Then dozed for 10 minutes. Then screamed and fussed till we got to Tyler and Jody's house. Did I mention they live two hours away? FUN!
On top of her screaming Ari was being a turd. I was sitting in back with P (yes, I'm that nerdy mom). Tucker and Ari were in the front seat. Poor Tuck would try to lay down and Ari would bark and growl and snip at him. hahaha Ari weighs 3 lbs and was taking up the entire seat. Poor Tuck was standing up in the very corner of the seat. We are like a circus.
We finally got there and got settled in and P's first sleepover went pretty well! The next day we got up and around and waited for everyone to arrive. The day was spent eating, talking, and opening presents. P made out like a bandit with a ton of gifts from everyone. My favorite gift she received I can not talk about until baby Brady is here because I am going to get him the same thing! Her favorite gift she received is her glow worm she got from her Aunt and Uncle. She LOVES it.
On the way home it was a lot better. P went to sleep after only about 5 minutes of fussing and slept the entire way and Ari played nice and let Tuck lay down. I think everyone was exhausted from a long day.
Here are some pictures from P's first Christmas celebration!
Ari and Max watching all the present opening fun!
Save me mom!
My little gremlin!
With her Aunt Jody
Xbox with Daddy
Hanging with my baby!
And then this morning with Daddy...She's starting to look more and more like him!
I feel like my body has bounced back really fast yet there are still spots that I hate. Dustin thinks I look good, probably better than before I was pregnant. He doesn't like me really skinny but I can't help it. I've always been skinny! I'm almost back to normal now at 7 weeks 4 days postpartum. I still long for my skinny thighs and flat(ish) stomach. OH, and a tan...I know I shouldn't complain because I've bounced back better than a lot of girls but as a woman, I can still find flaws with myself.
Here I am on our honeymoon in 2008. At 41 weeks pregnant. And this morning. I tried wearing that same red bikini but only managed to put the bottoms on...the top made me look like some nasty pornstar with my new giant (disgusting) boobs.
Nothing much to report as usual. We just purchased a nice camera so hopefully soon the quality of picutres I post are a lot better! I can't wait. We are getting ready to go to a Christmas party. Let's hope P is in a good mood! Here are some pictures to pass the time...
Getting ready for the mall. Where she screamed the entire time till she passed out.
Well I knew it would happen sooner or later but that doesn't mean I was ready for it. This past week I have been packing away all of P's newborn clothes into a tote. It started with the PJ's which got to be too short for her long self. Then yesterday it was the onesies that are WAY too tight. Then the outfits, one which I got her head stuck because it wouldn't fit through the opening. She's getting so big! I was rocking her and feeding her last night and she's so long. She's not my tiny little newborn anymore! Hello 0-3 month clothes!
If she's growing so much, she needs to outgrow this colic thing. She has good days and she has bad days. Yesterday and today have been pretty good. But the days that are bad...boy are they bad. It's so frustrating and sad not being able to fix whatever is wrong with her. There have been plenty of days when I cry right along with her and I feel like the world's worst mom. I know that I am a good mom but it's hard not to feel sad when you can't comfort your baby. Luckily, I have great mommy friends who I can talk to and who make me feel a lot better. Sometimes I text Rebecca just to vent because I know she's been there and done that. It's nice to feel like I'm not the only one who has gone down this path before. She gives me hope that there is light at the end of this loud, stressful tunnel. Isabelle suggested renting The Happiest Baby on the Block. Now if I could ever get a minute to run to the library we will see if that can teach me some tricks to deal with P when shes colicky.
Speaking of Isabelle, I had my 6 week postpartum check up. It went so well. I was so nervous because all these girls in my mommy group said how bad it hurt and blah blah blah. Those girls need a midwife! They needed someone to lube them up during labor so they didn't get tore a new one. HAHA. The check up was no big deal at all. She said I healed so well she couldn't even tell where my couple of stitches were. Now the big decision I am trying to make is birth control. I don't have as many options since I am breastfeeding. Basically it's the mini-pill or an IUD. She said with the mini pill you HAVE to take it at the same time every day for it to be effective. With a screaming baby I feel like I would forget or be too busy at pill popping time and forget. I am so NOT ready for another baby just yet. ha ha. I'm leaning towards Mirena which is an IUD. They stick it up there and it can stay for up to 5 years without having to think about it. Of course, you can have it removed before 5 years which I am sure I will so that we can have another baby. The only thing holding me back from that are all the very rare risks. Even though it's like 1 in a million chances of stuff going wrong I still worry it will implant itself in my uterus or I will get pregnant and it will cause a miscarriage having it removed. I know plenty of people who have had it and had good experiences with it so I need to stop worrying. If I looked at the rare side effects from the pill I could be having a heart attack or stroke so....
Not much else to report these days. Just trying to get by. We are still following our bedtime routine every night but P doesn't really care. She just does what she wants. Stubborn just like...daddy! :) Bath, read a story, rock and nurse. Usually she's asleep by 8:30 and then I change her diaper before we got to bed around 10 and nurse her a little more. I said I wasn't going to keep nursing her to sleep but right now it's what is easy and with everything else going on I'll take the easy way out.
Here's my new favorite song that I can't listen to it without crying... Dustin makes fun of me!
Okay so maybe they do, but they don't go into details about WHY it's so hard. I'm talking about breastfeeding. Doctors/nurses/midwives/lactation consultants EVERYONE is pushing breastfeeding. Breastfeeding...it's what's best for baby. For mom...not so much. Thank god we have all those people for support! I knew breastfeeding was no easy task. I knew plenty of people that tried and gave up. I also knew people who had zero issues whatsoever. I was hoping to be in the later group.
Here comes the boob/nipple talk...
When P was about 10 -15 minutes old we had our first try at breastfeeding. The lactation consultant at the hospital could not believe how she came out of the womb wanting to suck! She went nuts as soon as I put her near my boob. She latched on right away and supposedly in the proper way. WOO! I thought "OK....this is going to be so easy". Fast forward about an hour. I thought my nipple was literally going to fall off. The LC said she was latching properly and I must just have sensitive nipples. HA HA great! Within a few feedings my sweet daughter had practically gnawed my nipples off. They were cracked, bleeding, and just one big hot mess. I had about 3 or 4 lactation people in and out of my room trying to help me out and trying to figure out why it was happening. All they said was "sensitive nipples". Put lanolin on them after feeding and let them air dry. Whatever.
I didn't give up. About 2 weeks into breastfeeding they stopped bleeding. That doesn't mean they stopped hurting. In fact, they hurt worse. I literally would cry when I had to feed her. It was awful. I HATED it.
Then at about 4 weeks it started getting better. I didn't want to cry anymore...sure it was still a little uncomfortable on the one side but it was so much better and after the first few sucks it didn't bother me one bit. Even my clothing could touch my boob without me wanting to scream. Things were looking up. I thought MAN! I got through it!
That lasted about a week.
Saturday morning at 4am I woke up and thought my boob was literally going to explode. I initially thought that it was just super full and I needed to get the milk out. I woke up P and had her eat. It hurt SO bad. She ate for a long time and I pushed through. Then I started getting the chills and couldn't stop shaking. I woke Dustin up and asked him to watch P while I went and pumped. Still thinking maybe I was just overly full of milk. Nope. I pumped and didn't even get 1oz of milk. So unusual. I mentioned it to the girls in my birth group and they said it sounded like mastitis. Mas-what? They asked if I had a fever, of course I did! Great! I called the lactation department at our hospital and they didn't get in till 9am. I tried to go back to sleep. Yeah, right.
At about 9:15am the LC called me back and told me it sounded like mastitis. She said to feed P every 30 minutes, drink lots of water, stay in bed, pump, etc. If it didn't get better called my midwife in the morning and she would need to prescribe antibiotics. Whatever. I spent the day on the couch. I had taken some ibuprofen and my headache and fever went down. I was thinking I was in the clear. Till that evening. Last night I started getting the chills again even though I was taking ibuprofen. At about 10pm my temperature was 101.3. Great! I also had this huge knot in my boob. There's the blocked duct that caused this. I fed P for the longest time. I pumped for even longer. Drank a ton of water and Gatorade and went to sleep. Wellll...tried. Of course P picked last night to have about a 4 hour screaming session. Dustin took her and tried to get her to sleep. Finally she passed out about 2am only to wake up again at 3:45am. Oh boy! By then my fever had broke and I woke up soaking wet. Yummy. I knew I would have to bug Karen our midwife today to get some medicine. I woke up this morning and my temperature was 100. I decided to call Karen who prescribed an antibiotic to help me out. Most girls said they felt better after the first few doses so hopefully I'm on my way to recovery.
I wrote this for those of you following my blog that are pregnant. I went into breastfeeding just thinking the only problems that may arise are latching issues. There are so many other things that can happen. Mastitis probably being the worst. Unless of course your kid literally bites your nipple off. I've never heard of that though but I assume it could happen. HAHA. I know a lot of people give up after they have mastitis or a blocked duct or bleeding boobies. Don't give up. It really is the best thing you can do for your baby. It can be hard, it can be painful but looking down and seeing my precious little girl staring up at me all milk drunk and happy as can be makes me realize how important it is and how worth it all this pain and hard times are. Stick with it ladies!!